In society driven by the ticking of the clock, boredom is no longer a luxury we treat ourselves to. The MisoSoupDesign company spotted in our hyperactive behaviour a potential market exploitable until eyes pop out of their orbit, brains exhausts themselves and death ensues.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are delighted to present the Anti-Loneliness Ramen Soup Bowl with a built-in iPhone Dock! This revolutionary invention is about to ensure the boom of the instant noodle industry for the next ten years. Although we are talking about a Ramen Soup Bowl, I don’t think the anyone will be too offended if someone tries it with butternut squash or tomato and basil.
The iPhone sits at the top of your bowl with a great view of the floating spring onions and soya beans. The device is ingeniously equipped with speakers and it seems that the inclination of the plugged in phone is perfectly adapted for videos. The ultimate anxiety of having to bear silence and loneliness while having dinner belongs to the past; now you can be sure you take your (virtual) friends along to all of your meals. Grandma has abandoned the old saying that one can’t talk while eating; technology has now made it possible.
Not only is the “Ramen Soup Bowl” an incredible anti-loneliness remedy but it will soon become your best and only friend. There is no need to make the effort to move all the way to the catering area to socialise, it is now possible to sit at your desk, get fat on ramen –or maybe that is the reason why it’s only ramen and no pizza tray-, and let your friends come to you.
The device is also considerably time-saving: because Time is Money and Money is Time not a minute, not a gulp of ramen can go to waste. You could plausibly have an entire conversation without once raising your gaze much beyond the spring onions level and thus ensure 100% a success with noodle swallowing as well as the discussion of the last night out.
However the Soup Bowl comes with warnings; serious risk of suffocation and bad digestion can be the result of an over-consumption of ramen. Yet, what is the fun in life if one cannot take a little risk now and then. After all, a death by noodle might make the world record book.
In the space of time it takes to finish up the soup, you might have managed to sort out your life in loads of different ways without actually living anything. Regardless of how wonderful technology can be, it can also create a virtual bubble ruled by need and dissatisfaction. This frustration is the burden of modern society since too much is on offer but not everything can be achieved: it’s the disease of the always more.
But to end on a happier note, the market dictatorship has not yet replaced human senses and hopefully some will continue to eat their soup and just enjoy it!Published on The Yorker January 30, 2013